Lloyd & Corey
I wonder if people realize just how radical Say Anything is. I won’t go into all the reasons why here. But take this one scene, for example. It’s radical for a brokenhearted woman to publically voice and display her broken heart. Her anger. And it’s radical for her to have a best friend who’s not only this kind of best friend, but this kind of man (in a later scene Corey will explain the important difference between being a guy and being a man to Lloyd):A man who chooses the humanity and friendship of the women in his life over the sexism and insensitivity of men (this is not “bros before hos.” What interests me about this horrible idiom is its fundamentally misogynistic organization. The statement could have been “bros before sisters,” emphasizing the primacy of friendship over sex. This would still be problematic and sexist—men come first either way; there’s no “sisters before cocks,” after all—but it would have been mildly better).
And most radical, a man who actually confronts other men about their insensitivity towards women. Who sticks up for them (Lloyd sees Joe coming without even looking at him)—not just as girlfriends (perfunctory chivalry), but as women, as talents—as “human beings.”
Then touchingly: Lloyd actually makes Joe look at him when he tells him all this because Joe isn’t paying any attention to what Lloyd is saying. Lloyd adjusts Joe’s face to face him because this isn’t simply a man paying lip service to feminism and this woman’s pain isn’t a spectacle.
A real face (Lloyd) for a fake face (Joe).
A guy and a man.
This friend, this man, is the real deal. And that’s why Lloyd “gets the girl.”
Yesterday on one of my panels at GaymerX, we talked about what allies can do to help in gaming culture. I suggested that they can try to change the tone of the conversation, to call out misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic bullshit when they see it in comments sections or in actual spaces, and try to help bring about a cultural shift so that stuff that today is seen as acceptable is perhaps someday seen as unacceptable. It was then said that if you’re a male ally who is being called a “white knight” (a deeply frustrating discrediting tactic), you’re probably doing something right.
If Lloyd were doing things like this in the comments section of a video game website, he would definitely be called a white knight. The people who use this tactic seem entirely incapable of comprehending the concept of a man who speaks up for women for the simple reason that he actually sees them as people.
We need a lot more Lloyds and a lot fewer Joes.
Notes
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Yesterday on one of my panels at GaymerX, we talked about what allies can do to help in gaming culture. I suggested that...
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