Q

jumbso asked:

As an avid follower on twitter, I have to ask something. I'm trying to word this eloquently - do you ever get depressed at the amount of shit slung at you from the less informed members of the "gaming" community? Some of the hate you show to your twitter followers is incredibly depressing, and personally I would have a hard time dealing with all of that constantly being thrown in my direction. Also remember there's a whole slew of us out there who love and respect what you do!!

A

Thank you so much for the words of support! Once upon a time, I wouldn’t have believed that I could handle being openly, visibly trans in such a public-facing position. In fact, I was once so terrified by the idea of people knowing that I was trans that my goal was to go “stealth,” to start a new life with a new job in a new town where nobody knew about my past. If ten years ago, you had told me where I’d be today, I would have said you were crazy, that that’s not me, that I wouldn’t be capable of such things.

But life surprises us sometimes. There was nothing I wanted to do more than work for GameSpot, and when the opportunity came along, I knew I had to embrace it, and as I accepted myself and let go of the feeling that the truth of who I am was something to hide, I was surprised by just how capable I was of facing the online abuse that immediately started flying my way. I’m extremely fortunate to work with people who accept me as I am and never make an issue of my being trans, and the positive messages I sometimes receive—like this one—are so moving and powerful and gratifying to me that the nasty ones don’t even remotely compare.

I’m secure enough in myself to know who I am. When people attack me for being true to myself, for doing something that I take pride in (because it does take courage for any trans person to be honest about who they are in this world), sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and wonder why lashing out at strangers with words of hate is something that they want to do. But I never feel like it’s a reflection on me.