The Journey Home
It’s about time to head home. I’m a bit anxious about it. Processing my feelings about facial feminization surgery here in the isolation of this hotel room is one thing. Processing those feelings in the context of my ordinary, day-to-day life might be something else. Here, I tried to talk about some of what I’m feeling, the challenges I think I might face, and the ways in which I hope to move forward.
There’s no denying that this has been a monumental event in my life, and though in one sense I’ve been here in Thailand alone, I know that I’ve drawn a lot of strength from many people while I’ve been here. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I want to say thank you to:
Felicia, for her unwavering love and support over the many years that I’ve been fortunate to know her, and for her ability to sometimes understand the workings of my own heart better than I do.
Jonathan, for many things, not the least of which is an emergency coffee delivery he made to me while I was en route to SFO for my flight to Thailand.
Genifer, for the online Scrabble games and all the updates on life and weather in New York City.
All my colleagues who have always made me feel like I belonged among them, with special thanks to my friend Peter for his habit of getting into work ridiculously early which gave me plenty of opportunities to chat with him online about how things were going, and to Joy, for her infectious warmth and encouragement.
The writer Masha Tupitsyn, whose book Beauty Talk & Monsters, with its concerns about faces, the movies, and love, was an ideal companion on my journey here, and whose work continues to speak to me every day.
And especially to Eve. Thank you for seeing me the way you do and helping me see myself that way too. Thank you for loving me in a way that is complicated and simple and honest about the ways in which it is complicated and simple, and for letting me love you in a way that is complicated and simple, too.

Notes
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