This film is on, it’s on a maddening loop

“It’s the poison that in measures brings illuminating vision.”

When I think back on the (very few) great heartaches and heartbreaks, the big failed relationships and unrequited loves of my life, I often think of this song.

“Instinct. Gut. Feeling. Feelings." 

"It’s crazy what you could have had. It’s crazy what you could have had. I need this. I need this. It’s crazy what you could have had. It’s crazy what you could have had. I need this. I need this.”

It’s that refrain that does it. I seem to get caught somewhere between feeling like my love is a rare and wonderful gift that anyone would be foolish to cast aside, and feeling like I’m empty without the other person. It’s more than loneliness. It’s hollowness. A lack of purpose. 

And that makes me (again) think of this, via karaj, by Masha Tupitsyn:

image

 

“Peter Buck. How ‘bout that?" 

Yep. Chills every time.