stuck between songs

The other day, I listened to the song “Touch.” Normally I skip it because it hits too close to home. The chorus of heavenly voices singing “If love is the answer, you’re home” that then disappear into nothingness, the bitterness in Paul Williams’ voice at the end as he says “Touch, sweet touch, you’ve almost convinced me I’m real. I need something more. I need something more.” It gives me too much to feel.

And of course, love is the answer. Certainly it’s the answer to what has been the most looming question in my life for these past few years. Real love, not the illusion of love’s possibility that the character in “Touch” encounters, then sees slip away. That same day, as if to reinforce the point, Masha coincidentally posted this image:

image

Back when Random Access Memories was released I wrote that it was no mistake that “Get Lucky” comes right after “Touch,” as if the wound of “Touch” is what leaves the album’s evolving central spirit open to the possibility of connection in “Get Lucky.” 

But it’s been a few years now, and I feel like I’m still stuck in that moment, that two-second gap between the end of one song and the start of the next. Still waiting for the birth of new possibilities, like the legend of the phoenix.